Viva la Mami

108. VLM Spotlight: Navigating Divorce as a Latina Mom with Marisa Lopez

• Jessica Cuevas • Season 4 • Episode 108

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In this powerful first episode of a two-part series, I sit down with Marisa Lopez, a civil engineer turned real estate investor, who shares her raw and inspiring journey of breaking generational patterns to create a healthier future for her daughter.

Marisa opens up about navigating divorce as a Latina mom, breaking cultural norms, and building a healthy co-parenting relationship. From being told she might never have children to becoming a single mom at 5 months postpartum, Marisa shares how she found strength through therapy, family support, and prioritizing her daughter's wellbeing. This conversation is especially powerful for mamás considering divorce or struggling with family expectations around separation. Join us as Marisa shows how choosing yourself can be the greatest act of love for your children.

For detailed show notes, visit vivalamami.com/episode108

In This Episode, You’ll Hear:

  • Marisa's path to madrehood despite medical challenges
  • The emotional process of choosing divorce as a new mother
  • Breaking traditional cultural expectations around marriage
  • Building a support system as a first-generation divorcee
  • Creating healthy family dynamics for the next generation

Resources Mentioned:

Connect with Marisa:

Feeling overwhelmed by navigating cultural expectations and modern parenting as a Latina mom? Join Balanced Madrehood, Viva la Mami's signature coaching program designed to empower Latina moms to create a more balanced and fulfilling madrehood journey.  Head over to vivalamami.com/balanced-madrehood to learn more!

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Are you struggling to navigate divorce as a Latina mom? Do you feel trapped between cultural expectations and your own wellbeing? In this powerful first episode of a two part series. I sit down with muddy San Lopez, a civil engineer turned real estate investor who shares her raw and inspiring journey of breaking generational patterns to create a healthier future for her daughter. And this episode, Marisa opens up about to find medical expectations to becoming a mom navigating divorce just five months postpartum. And creating a healthy co-parenting relationship centered on her daughter's wellbeing. She shares how she found strength in therapy. I built a support system and learn to balance cultural traditions with necessary change. This conversation is especially powerful for my mass, considering divorce or struggling with family expectations around separation. Join us as Medusa shows, how choosing yourself can be the greatest act of love, for your children, but also for yourself. As mentioned, this is one of two episodes that we get to listen to Marisa story. This one will be centered on navigating divorce as a Latina mom. But next week's episode, we will touch on. How muddy SAB built. Wealth through real estate investing while working full-time and being a single mother. So this is also another inspirational episode that you should definitely stay tuned for next week. It is such an honor to have money. So on the show, I think it will bring you wisdom. It will bring you inspiration and even empowerment. To do what you want what's best for yourself and your children, especially if you're going through the trenches of marriage or relationships that you feel like it's not. Worth being in. And I do want to mention that. if you're in a point where you haven't healed yet from a relationship that did. Involve abuse, whatever form of abuse. Uh, please know that it does mention a little bit. I have. This, but it's not necessarily giving. Direct descriptions of it. But again, if you haven't healed, And if you're not in a place where you want to listen to other, people's stories, uh, related to that, I respect that and you can stay tuned for next week. All right. Well, without further ado, here's my conversation with muddy cell. Lopez.

Jessica:

Hola, Marisa. How are you?

Marisa Lopez:

Buenos dias. I'm doing great. How are you?

Jessica:

I am great. Thank you so much for being here. I really enjoyed listening to your story, During the movement on movement. And I'm like, I need to have this head over on the podcast because you're doing such amazing work, as a full time mama, as a real estate investor, and just wanting to know more about you and your story. And I would love to have you, uh, talk to our listeners and, uh, that way they can learn a little bit more about yourself and then we'll get into the conversation.

Marisa Lopez:

Yes. Thank you so much for having me. Um, I, I'm glad you were able to listen to part of my story at the Mujer on Live event. And I, I love to share my journey to empower other mamás and uh, We're, we're in it together and it takes a village to raise these kids, right? So I was born in Jalisco, in a little like, uh, Pueblito called Teocatiche. It's about two hours from Guadalajara. Um, my family is from the rural area. Somos un ranchito. So I lived there until I was four. And then came to Arizona. Um, I've been here in the Phoenix area ever since, since then. I have never ventured out of the desert. So, uh, I'm the oldest of three. I have a younger brother and a younger sister. And, uh, when I was, I grew up, uh, working, I started working very young with, with my parents. we, I helped my dad with landscape, uh, construction. And then. Some maintenance and then my mom had an ice cream truck. So we were working very young were taught

Jessica:

Yeah.

Marisa Lopez:

young which I think at that time I would complain now i'm like i'm grateful because I learned a lot of skills That I now i'm like, oh that okay. That makes sense. You know, I it's been in me. So Went off to college and got my civil engineering degree. Um, so that's, uh,

Jessica:

That's awesome.

Marisa Lopez:

very proud of, uh, I really enjoy what I do. And, uh, I have been with the same company for, what is it? 11 years, over 11 years now. I do, um, utility work. So I work for the power utility company. Here and uh, I the best thing of me is I'm the mommy to zelly a little two year old beautiful girl, uh, she's the best thing that ever happened to me. I I there was a point in in my life where I I was told I wasn't going to conceive, because I was having health issues. And, we can dive into that probably a little bit later, but, uh,

Jessica:

Yeah, sure,

Marisa Lopez:

part. Uh, but, uh, as of now, I'm a full time mom. That's the most important thing for me, full time engineer. And, uh, and. And a real estate investor. I, I guess I, I kind of do that part time or on my, on my free time work weekends, like today after this, I have a project to go to. so that's, you entrepreneurship life

Jessica:

yes, yes,

Marisa Lopez:

we make use of every time. Um, and yeah, there's time for enjoyment, um, in between everything.

Jessica:

So you shared a little bit about, you know, your life as a mama and raising a little one and, um, similar to you, you know, I have two toddlers, which is wild, toddler boys. So you can only imagine. Yeah.

Marisa Lopez:

very active.

Jessica:

Oh, yes, yes. They're nonstop. And so you'll definitely hear them in the background right now. Um, but yeah, can you share us your motherhood story? Like you mentioned how you're always told that you would have issues conceiving. I'm curious, um, why people told you that and, and how, you know, you went about either finding different levels of care or what you actually did to, you know, to have your baby.

Marisa Lopez:

Yeah, so when I was, that was when I was, uh, I've always been pretty healthy,

Jessica:

Yeah.

Marisa Lopez:

um, when, about ten years ago, I was, uh, having some health issues. I went to talk to my doctor. You know, they did some, some testing and stuff like that and I had some, like, cyst and, um, um, She wasn't sure like she was on the borderline. She's like, I don't know if it's pcos And like she's like we need to do more testing. But um as of now the way that what i'm looking at right now, um you're It's going to be tough for you to like ever have kids if you don't deal with it now if you don't start treatment or if You know, we don't do further testing to figure out what what we can do about this and then at the time I was Fresh out of college. I was single and I mean here that was a heartbreak But then like part of me was like well Do I really want to go through this by myself and hear more bad news? And the safest thing for me to do that I felt at the time was like, You know

Jessica:

Um, Yeah.

Marisa Lopez:

thought, I'll just do it. But my trust in, in God and, and if, like, if something's really meant for me, if motherhood's meant for me, it'll happen, and if it isn't, then there's something else I'm, uh, some other mission that I'll be tasked with, but the nurturer in me will always be in me. so that's, I left it at that, and then, um, later, I'm engaged, um, I told my, my then, fiance that, uh, about my health issues, and I was very transparent, um, and I told him, I, I, if, kids is like a deal breaker, uh, I just want to let you know that I, it may be something I can't give you, but I just want to let you know. Show that and he was okay with it. He's like, oh, it's okay. Don't worry. We'll figure it out Okay, and so get married and then seven seven months later I'm on a trip and i'm a hometown in jalisco and I found out I was pregnant And I

Jessica:

That's wild.

Marisa Lopez:

uh, actually, my little cousin made a little YouTube video to record the whole, like, uh, the moment. And, uh, yeah, it was, uh, it was probably one of the best days of my life because I was just like, oh my gosh, like, what a gift. And, um, so throughout that, like, time in between, what I really did is like, I started eating a lot cleaner. I stayed active for the most part, you know, some kind of movement, whether, hiking is really big over here. I was hiking, going to the gym. I joined a boxing gym for a while too. and, uh, yeah, I, I, I want to believe that all that, those, all those things that I did that may seem little, you know, just to take care of my wellbeing and, um, yeah, every time I would go in for like blood work or all that, everything was really good. And yeah, so I felt like. those little things helped,

Jessica:

yes. No, I love it that you advocated for yourself and you were trying to see alternative ways to, better your wellbeing, your health without any medical interventions, right? Or without, falling into, I, I would believe that it's kind of like a trap sometimes when medical professionals are telling you, You can't, you know,, be pregnant, and if you fall into that, you know, a lot of women just assume that they're never going to have kids. But if you go into the holistic route and really taking care of yourself. Look at you, you did it so that's great. And, and so kudos to you that, you know, you listen to your intuition and you, this is the common Olympia, right? And, and it helped. Yeah, that's great.

Marisa Lopez:

one particular thing that I remember, um, I, I got like this deep tissue reflexology massage,

Jessica:

Huh? What is that? I've never heard of that.

Marisa Lopez:

it's like a, an Asian practice where like, there's pressure points, in our hands and feet, and then based on that, then they just like, and based on what they feel when they're massaging you, they know where, you know, to work on you. And, um, I felt like there was like a release. That day. And I mean, I was sore for days, but, um, yeah, it was shortly after that, that I, that I So, uh, it's kind of, it was crazy, you know, but I'm sure it was a blend of things. And yeah, like you said, going the holistic route.

Jessica:

Yeah. And So now you're a mama of a toddler and you shared with me in our conversation that you are co parenting now. And so, how has that been like, can you walk us through your experience as a single parent and, and how you are, you and your ex are now kind of in full forces, right? To, to co parent, how does that look like?

Marisa Lopez:

Yeah. So when my daughter was five months old was when we, um, we and a divorce was initiated then. And, uh, so. Um, my daughter doesn't have a memory of us together, which in a good, in a way it's, it's good we've already kind of like set the scene for her. And, co parenting has been, it's better now, but, uh, yeah, it's, it's very tough, especially like starting co parenting when I did, when I was five months postpartum, know, postpartum period of a woman's life that I feel is it's the fourth trimester, right? There's more care for me. It was the most the hardest part and i'm grateful that I have family and everything um, yeah, it was it was very tough and I was very emotional back then you know just trying to think of what's the best decision for me and my daughter because now it's like I can't I can't be selfish and just think about me. I got to think about her as well. Um, and that was, you know, divorce was the best decision then, just for the sake of healthy relationships. And all that. So, at the beginning, yeah, it was very tough. and I was breastfeeding. So I breastfed for a year and a half. I'm pretty, proud of myself for that. And I'm glad I

Jessica:

Yeah.

Marisa Lopez:

at the beginning I had her most of the time, um, and no overnights because she depended on, on me and, um, and that, I mean, I'm sure it was tough for him, but he, we fought a lot through that and through, uh, you know, the court system. And then Attorneys and,

Jessica:

Mm hmm.

Marisa Lopez:

that. And, but, uh, one of the things that I, I'm glad I did is I only communicated with him via text or email. We never had any kind of conversations like, um, voice conversations, right.

Jessica:

Right.

Marisa Lopez:

that's better. Because then you also, before you text and think before you email, you know, you read through the tags, you read through the email,

Jessica:

Yeah.

Marisa Lopez:

yeah, it was very heated then. And, um, I, uh, like going through, um, I went through therapy. I still go, um,

Jessica:

Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm.

Marisa Lopez:

couple of friends who went through it. I've read books, podcasts, you know, I'm trying to get all the help that I can to like how to navigate this because I'm the first one to ever go through something like this in my family, like far as I know my lineage and um, it was I felt very lonely at some sometimes because I'm like, oh This is yeah, this is tough and i'm by myself. Like I grew up both parents and My mom stayed at home, took care of us. My dad went to work and provided and kept us safe and that kind of thing. And now I'm like, Oh, to do it all. Um, the protect the provider. the nurture and you know, I gotta be the good cop in the back. It's it's a lot but um, i've come a long way and i'll tell you this is there came a point where I realized that my love for Zelie daughter was greater than any kind of difficulty that I went through with my ex and Once I, fully understood that, then, I became a lot more patient with, the co parenting relationship, and I also put myself in, in his position more, just trying to think, you know, okay, what, what's his thought process, what, I wonder how he feels, and that, having that, like, that empathy, too, um, Really helped me, I think, better the relationship. We're still, you know, not as amicable as, I mean, I hope we are someday, but, the, the relationship is a lot better. And, uh, one of the things I opted for during my divorce was to do, um, to not go to court. to, you know, have a judge decide, decide everything. So we did mediation and during mediation, I proposed that we, um, we go to a, a co parenting coordinator who has like a background in psychology who can help us determine a parenting plan because, uh, we weren't, I was have, I had most of parenting time and the goal was to get to 50 50. So then, um, my ex wanted to start 50 50 tomorrow. Um, I said, no, that's not good for her. That's I'm just thinking, you know, for developmental stages and not that I'm being like selfish or anything like that, but honestly, like that's best way to go about it is to do what they call a step up plan and I like determine two to three steps on increment, increasing time over weeks, months before we get to 5050. Because then it's like. it's gradual and uh, the opportunity to like start getting used to new things like the newness of things and then also like it gives myself and then my ex an opportunity to be like like especially for him since he's getting more time like slowly increasing because I mean you know dealing with toddlers yeah a wild yeah

Jessica:

wait, I need to fix myself first. I'm like, wait, I need

Marisa Lopez:

We called it step, step two. After step two, then we go, um, 50 50, which is in about a few weeks. So then, yeah, that was, um, was really good. And I'm glad that he was open to go to this And. Be open to learning about childhood development and how our daughter's development is impacted and, and then also like owning that, you know, this isn't her fault. Divorce is not her fault. Um, it's between him and I and just, you know, Him and I need to take care of that, but then also like keep her in mind and her as a priority as we move through this process and um, I would say that I, I to that point sooner than him, but I'm hoping that that experience really made him realize things are a little bit better after that. we were also able to, like, just, uh, talk about what worries us, as, as parents, and then kind of, like, what we, what kind of, I, I was able to share what kind of relationship I have, I want to have in the future, like, um, during, uh, the first session, I, I told them, you know what, like, 20 years later down the road, 20, 25 years later down the road, when our daughter's getting married, I want us to be, uh, her wedding and her not worry about where his mom's gonna sit and where his dad's gonna sit like let's set him up I want to get to the point where we're just like we respect each other. We're cordial Um for the sake of her to show her that like, okay, you know didn't work out but we're making it we're respecting each other for, because that's what we should do as humans, and, and, um, and we're there for her, and that nobody in the world loves her more than I do, and that, and, and him too. That's something my lawyer told me, that really,

Jessica:

to fix myself first.

Marisa Lopez:

the process. She's like, I just want you to realize that, you know, and, and, and believe it too, because when you believe it, it makes a difference.

Jessica:

Hmm.

Marisa Lopez:

and you kind of, you, you set that intention out in the universe regardless of your opinion about him as a, as a man, I'm like, okay, I guess, but you know, now I believe that

Jessica:

Yeah. Oh my gosh. Thank you so much for sharing your story. Um, and this aspect, uh, I, I think you have broken down so many of the generational curses that we grew up with. Right. Like, and I know for you to be the first one in your family, man, it takes so Much grit, Right, and, and I'm glad that you did this though, because at the end of the day, we do it for our kids, we do it for our children, you know, and for yourself too. Without thinking without thinking, well, what are my parents gonna think? You know? Am I. a horrible person for doing this to them. And, and I know that it's an unfortunate, you know, uh, thing, but you're also setting that example to hurt them being that, you know, you were able to stand up and do this for the betterment of your lives really. because otherwise she would grow up in a different, environment and a whole different, kind of setting and. And you and your ex are working hard for her, um, and making sure that you normalize this. Right. And, you know, for me, I always tell my kids, well, primarily my four year old, because the other one is one and a half, right. But we are telling them that there's so many different family structures, you know, that, It's normal to only have one parent or two parents or three, you know, sometimes it's the grandparents and the aunties and uncles, right? Like everyone has, um, a different, family structure. And I think that helps the, that generation. Hopefully my goal is for, you know, for us to raise a generation that they are able to understand, because if they get into that situation, they already grew up. With that mindset, right? With knowing that everyone grows up differently. Everyone has different family structures. Um, but going back to your specific story, I think, you already revolutionized something different for your daughter. And that's amazing. So kudos to you. I think that it takes a lot of courage, especially when you're trying to break, you know, a lot of the things that we grew up with, especially in very traditional households. And what would you say to my mom's who are currently. Thinking about leaving their spouses or that they are in fear of confronting their families about divorce or separation, what would you say to them?

Marisa Lopez:

know, sometimes people think that divorce is the way out, and it's not true. It's an option when two people can no longer have a healthy family, a healthy household, especially when you involve kids. divorce is a decision that needs to be made very thoughtfully and thoroughly. a person needs guidance from, you know, other others and to kind of make the best discernment for themselves. but sometimes it's the best way to move forward. For me, I just thought, like, I, I'm the most important, the first image of a woman that my daughter has, and if she sees me, uh, accepting this abuse, then she's gonna think it's okay, and she's gonna go on throughout her life thinking it's okay, and then that's how kids end up in, you know, grow up, and then end up in unhealthy relationships, and things like that, and, the cycle goes on, right, so, I said, no, I'm not going to do this. And yeah, I thought like, oh my gosh, gonna see me still guys. You're not getting the, um, the love for my daughter and was greater and the love for myself too. I love myself more or I love myself to leave I knew I deserved better. difficult decision It's very Like i'd say divorce has been the most difficult thing i've been through Nobody goes into You know on their wedding day everything's oh i'm gonna divorce this person someday No, you know, um, and then things happen and here we are and but it's been it's very painful because I think the one of the toughest part is that you're leaving, you're, you know, you're separated, you're leaving them, you, and um, but a part of you is leaving with them. That part that has all the dreams, hopes, you know, the vision that you had of the family, the, know, any kind of dreams you had together, and that has to leave with them. Oh yeah, that was, it's painful. I don't wish it upon anybody. I mean, yeah, it's something that, yeah, it's the best decision. if, I'd say tried therapy. That's what we did, before even making that decision. and I'm glad I gave that a shot because it wasn't. And then in that moment that, like, I realized, yeah, this is, we don't have marriage. And, uh, it's funny that months later, because I stayed with the same therapist, I did individual therapy with him. Months later, he's like hey Marissa, so do you think like I know you filed for divorce and stuff But marriage counseling helpful? And I was like Sam, absolutely. I'd say it was successful and he's like, okay I'm glad because think that it's only successful when things work out and marriages continue But it's successful even when they don't because you're able to come out of that Make the best decision for yourself and your family. So

Jessica:

Yeah. And I'm sure it gave you some level of peace too, because you gave it, you're all, to then make that decision, okay, then this isn't going to work out. So you did try, you know, you fought for it. And I agree, things happen for a reason. And I, I love what you said about your daughter, that you are basically modeling, your worth and your value as, as a mujer, and I think that it's very inspirational, not just for your daughter, but hopefully for those that are listening who are currently, trying their best and fight for their relationship. But in reality, if it doesn't work out, then there are, uh, different ways and it can start with therapy and then proceed on to the next steps of it still doesn't work out because, you know, I always say in, in relationships. A lot of people say you got to put 50 percent and your partner has to put 50 percent in a relationship. And I think everyone has to put a hundred percent of their part, you know, to make this work out. Otherwise that 50 percent can then lead to 80 percent and the other one does 20 percent and it's not fair, you know?

Marisa Lopez:

Absolutely. Yeah. You know, I wanted to make one more comment on this. A lot of people, a lot of couples stay together for the kids. Because I believe that's, you know, and I realized that that wasn't going to be like, best because, you know, when, um, two people are together for the kids and there's already that, that tension, that animosity, that's energy. then the kids are absorbing that and they know they're smart, you know, even though they. We may think that they don't know these things. They, they know and they're already like, they're going to normalize that like, okay, it's okay to be with someone. Um, if we have kids, even though, you know, like I'm not, you know, I'm not fully vested, but we have kids, we just, we should stay together. not healthy either.

Jessica:

Absolutely. And especially in our cultura, right? I think that there's a lot of tradition involved, like cultural expectations that once you get married, you know, you got to stick together. And I know so many people in my family, so many tias, right? That, right. You know, and, and it's sad and you see it in their eyes. You see it in, even in their kids. And, and the traumas that, you know, they're, they built upon because for the fact that, you know, of keeping this very traditional kind of, you know, family structure in mindset and, you know. I got married under the church, like, I'm gonna be a sinner for the rest of my life, sort of thing. And, and no, like even the priest can

Marisa Lopez:

I got married through the catholic church went through the whole marriage prep and everything and you know, I was all in and and um as I Was starting this divorce process. I I mean i've all known of about the annulment process before that but um, There's some crucial things that really make a marriage solid and when you don't have those components There's an opportunity to nullify it Because the marriage doesn't exist, pretty much. It never existed. And yeah, you're absolutely right. And, and then regardless, you know, like, yeah, that's, I also realized this, too. Like, yes, I committed to marriage, and marriage is sacred, and still is to me. and I prayed really hard when I was this decision, too. And then, uh, there's this, this one day that I said, I prayed, I was like, God, if, you know, If this man isn't for me, it clear, and he did, I mean, within hours, he did, and I was like, okay, and then I also realized that, you know, God loves me and allowed for all this to happen, so I can grow, but, um, he also doesn't want it. He didn't want me to suffer and put myself at risk and my daughter at risk. By staying in unhealthy marriage. So, yeah, and yeah, you know, and nobody's perfect. And that any kind of obstacle suffering that we go through is an opportunity for us to sharpen up and to be Um, and yeah, completely changed my, my thought process on, like, struggle and suffering and now I'm like okay, like, I'll get through it. I'll get through

Jessica:

That's awesome. That's so inspirational. And you mentioned about, you working with professionals, specifically through the, uh, Divorce and everything, being that you were the first one in your family and your lineage to go through, this, how did you find a village to support you in addition to the professionals, Did you create one did, you know, did you get the full support from everyone, specifically your family? How did that look like?

Marisa Lopez:

I was scared to tell my parents of like, everything that I had been going through, during my marriage.'cause I didn't, I thought that they were gonna tell me. And, um,

Jessica:

my gosh. I've definitely heard of that. Right. Hmm.

Marisa Lopez:

Marissa, I think you need to tell your parents. Everything you told me today, you need to tell your parents. So right now I want you to call your dad, call your mom, tell me when to talk to him today. And I remember calling my dad right after and telling him that I needed to talk to him. he just like, he was like, Oh, yes. Yes. And, um, so I keep up with everything and I was like, Oh, okay. So then, um, yeah, later that day I told my mom and my dad, um, everything. Um, I mean, they were really supportive. I, yeah, I didn't, you know, I know they love me. I know they want the best for me, but, uh, I was pleasantly surprised of how supportive they were. And, and then, um, I was 32 at the time. And for my dad to tell 32 year old Marisa, No estas sola, aqui estamos. And he gave me a hug and I was like, that meant the world to me. Cause you know, we never stopped being like our, parents children. Right. So yeah. So then, uh, I was really fortunate to have their support and, um, I stayed there with them for some time, living with them, um, Zelie and I, and, uh, siblings were supportive and, you know, I, I am very blessed with friends who. Regardless of what, you know, background, belief system is, they, they were very supportive of me and yeah, I had that, that village. Um, and yeah, there was, I lost friends. There's family that didn't what I saw and were like, oh, you're divorced? Like, that's not a thing. Like, you got married to a French. Like, And like, this is, this is a big sin. So things like that, but at the end of the day, it's better to be surrounded with people who are there to build you.

Jessica:

Yeah. Um.

Marisa Lopez:

what's your what should your highest self do? like don't don't rely on the emotion because the emotion can lead us astray, but what's like the The most solid thing to do um, and if you need time to think about it take a breather Go to the gym, go for a walk and then make the decision. So yeah, I, I'd say, yeah, my friends have been like so instrumental. My neighbor, I have this awesome neighbor who's like now family. Um, and, and yeah, you know, choosing a good lawyer. I had to fire my first one because he was, yeah, he was not, was being a little deceptive, but I'm going through, reading the contractual agreements with attorneys is very important. I think the first time I ran as well, I was too emotional. I just. Went with the first one, but it's important to you know to get different Opinions and interview because they work for you. going to talk after I fired the first one I interviewed three and after I talked to the one that I my lawyer now, um, was like, yeah, she's the one uh know and also knowing why they do what they do because is life changing and you want someone who is like not just as a lawyer. They're good You But also as a, um, as a human, like that, they have some, they're, they're solid and they have a good belief system. yeah, I, I really, I'm grateful for, for my lawyer um, I trusted her and she's guided me and, and then she's straightforward, you know, and she's, she's an alpha lady, so, you know, she just like says it like it is. And I'm like, okay, yes, it makes sense. Woo.

Jessica:

So glad that you have your village and your family, your parents. And it's interesting about that because they knew like in their gut feeling, they kind of knew what was going on in their intuition.

Marisa Lopez:

Yeah.

Jessica:

when you think about it now, you as a mama, when you know your daughter is kind,of off, you already know some things. Going on. And, and I think that's just like the beauty and really magic, uh, as parents that, you know, they already suspected this and they were there to support you and all you had to do is just say it right. And, it does take a lot. It does take a lot from you, but also for them to, to be there for you. Yeah.

Marisa Lopez:

It is. I'm like, I don't know if they realize how grateful I am. I should probably tell them today, but yeah, I'm just super grateful that they've, yeah, they really stepped up and like, I, you know, especially like seeing how my dad kind of, uh, took that, ownership of grandfather slash father for my daughter. Um, it's the cutest thing, and it's just, it's, I'm, I'm grateful that she has that, because as women, we do need strong, male figures around us, and at least I,

Jessica:

So that one, yeah.

Marisa Lopez:

my dad's there, and, uh, I think he did a pretty good job with me, so, um, he'll do a great job with my

Jessica:

No, no, no.

Marisa Lopez:

I made a lot of great new friends this past, like, year and a half, and, Uh, that have really helped me build myself even further, like, by joining Boquerón University. And, like, I have, like, a whole new group of friends. And, yeah, I mentioned, I lost friends, too. but, I will forever be an optimist. And I believe people come into our life for a season, a reason, or forever.

Jessica:

Absolutely, Oh, my gosh. Oh, I love it. I love it. Thank you so much for sharing this part of your story. Because it matters and it just transforms you, you know, when you really think about Like the decisions that you've made and mostly because it's out of love for your daughter. I think that that is so powerful. Uh, then like the traditionalist views, then family, then like the friends that, you know, unfortunately you couldn't, that you had to leave, right? Like, I think what matters is yourself and your daughter, and you're doing this out of that, you know, love that you have for her,