114. Balanced Madrehood: Navigating The Modern Latina Mom Identity Crisis

In this first episode of my special 8-part series, Balanced Madrehood, we'll explore what it truly means to be a millennial Latina mom in today's world.

In this episode, I open up about my personal journey navigating the complex identity of being caught between cultural expectations and my own authentic parenting style. I share my experience with my first son's baptism versus my different approach with my second son, and how I've learned to make decisions that feel genuine to me despite family and cultural pressures.

For detailed show notes, visit vivalamami.com/episode114

In This Episode, You'll Hear:

• The unique "identity crisis" millennial Latina moms face when caught between traditional expectations and modern values
• My personal story of feeling inauthentic when conforming to cultural expectations around religious traditions
• The three pillars of what is in the Balanced Madrehood program
• Signs you might be experiencing this identity struggle
• How this identity crisis isn't a flaw and how it's your opportunity to create a new model of Latina motherhood

Resources Mentioned:

• Join the waitlist for my Balanced Madrehood coaching program: vivalamami.com/balanced-madrehood

Feeling overwhelmed by navigating cultural expectations and modern parenting as a Latina mom? Join Balanced Madrehood, Viva la Mami's signature coaching program designed to empower Latina moms to create a more balanced and fulfilling madrehood journey.  Head over to vivalamami.com/balanced-madrehood to learn more!

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Transcript

1:18

Hola, hola amiga. Today, I'm thrilled to kick off balanced motherhood, a special eight part series as part of my upcoming signature coaching program, balanced motherhood. And what we're going to do in these eight episodes. Is we will be exploring what it truly means to be millennial Latina mom in today's world from identity struggles to setting boundaries with our familia. Each episode will provide practical strategies to help you create a motherhood experience that honors both your heritage and your authentic self. Today we're diving into what I call the modern Latina mom identity crisis. And I feel like it's that feeling of being caught in the middle and how we can transform it into our greatest strength. Before we dive in, in the show notes, there are two links, one where you can suggest different topics, topics like this one or any topic that you want me to talk about. And I also have another link on suggesting a guest. So if you know of a potential guest who could benefit in being on the show, feel free to share their information as well. I think that it's so important to share our stories and for people to share their expertise. And that way, mama, your motherhood journey can be better informed and I also want to remind you to please rate and review the show. It's so important for me to receive feedback and what you think of this show so that way people can find Viva La Mami and for Latina moms to not feel in isolation as it relates to their motherhood journeys. So please don't forget to rate and review if you're listening through Apple podcasts Otherwise you can rate the show on Spotify and you can also subscribe on our YouTube channel, which is technically in a podcast mode but if you If you want to see videos of these interviews or any tips as it relates to your motherhood journey, let me know. I'm always open to that. And the reason why so that way we can build this community together. I'm building this community for you, for us because it is so needed. I'm really excited to be starting off this eight part series, which will consist of short episodes of like no more than 30 minutes. And that way you receive quick tips from me and just like inspiration. I think again, as it relates to our motherhood journeys of how isolated it can be. This is just part of our experiences. And if you are holding your baby right now, feeding them, or if you're washing dishes or whatever it is that you're doing, I hope that these upcoming episodes can really help you to feel empowered to create your own version of motherhood. because the whole essence of Viva La Mami is to help Latinas redefine motherhood based on their own terms. All right, so grab your cafecito and let's get into today's episode.

Jessica: 5:40

One of the main things that literally came up on my mind, as I was preparing this episode, was how there is a dissonance between cultural expectations and kind of like our own way of parenting and the way that we want to raise our kids in our own terms. And so one of the things that I really struggled with when I was a first time mom with Diego, I really fell into those cultural expectations where we decided to baptize him because that was the expectation and Even though it was a very low key baptism A lot of people in my family at least but I'm pretty sure in your family Baptisms are like big. I mean You rent a hall you get a DJ if anything, it's a group. Oh you get the whole party, right? and for us, we didn't want that. We just preferred a small ceremony at the church and then a lunch afterwards. And that was it. It was very low key chill, but I felt like it wasn't. Us. I felt like it wasn't me. I honestly felt a sinner because I hadn't gone to church before that. And even though we have done the sacraments and all of that as a married couple, right, we got married under the church. We, we are still navigating that. of religion, and I felt fake. I felt like it wasn't me when we got Diego baptized. Now, I do believe in the essence of having padrinos, and I did research on this, our ancestors in pre Columbian times, they gathered and honored a child and they essentially did a ceremony kind of similar to a baptism, but obviously it's not specific to Catholicism. And so I was hoping to do something like that, but I was afraid to tell my family And. Diego is obviously growing up with his madrinas. We decided to have him have positive women role models in their lives. And so we decided to have my two sisters and Alex's sister as his madrinas. And so I know that at the end of the day, he is more so identifying himself with having this close relationship with them rather than them being their madrinas through the church necessarily. But now that we have Mateo and he's turning two at the time of this recording, we haven't yet baptized him. And to be honest, It's twofold. One is that we now feel empowered to make those decisions, our own decisions in terms of what we want to do with our kids. But also this other aspect that we're just in full survival mode. This is not. Even a part of our priority list, if you will, and I think it's because we are not practicing Catholics. And so navigating this as a first time mom versus now a second time mom, it has been a lot different. I still get questioned, Y por qué no bautizas a Mateo? Cuándo lo vas a bautizar? Has escogido? Los Padrinos, why haven't you gone to church, blah, blah, blah. For us we are raising our kids differently. And I feel like there's a lot of shame out there about why people decide not to raise their kids. religiously. And for us, there's a lot to explore, a lot to learn. And we don't want to fall into just because we are conforming to our cultural roots, right? When it comes to specifically that we just feel like it is inauthentic, if that makes sense. And so what exactly is this identity crisis I'm talking about? And as millennial Latina moms, we're in this unique position. Many of us grew up watching our mamas and abuelas embody the very traditional ideals of Latina motherhood, that self sacrificing, always putting family first, the keeper of traditions and culture, but we're also part of a generation that values individual fulfillment, career ambition, and personal growth. And in the context of my story, it's also about how you are redefining motherhood and parenthood overall. And so we've been told we can. We have it all that we have to conform again to the cultural expectations and the societal expectations as mujeres, but the reality is often more complicated, especially when our cultural background adds another layer to navigate. So we're left asking ourselves questions like, how do I honor my cultural traditions while creating new ones? And so the truth is, there's no one right way to be a transcriber. Mom, a Latina mom. We're writing our own stories, creating a new blueprint, really, for what motherhood can look like when we honor both our heritage and our authentic selves. And so this identity crisis is exactly why I created Balanced Motherhood. It is a framework for navigating these complex topics with intention and confidence. It's built on three core pillars that I've found are essential for every Latina mom trying to find her way. And so, the first pillar is prioritizing yourself as a Latina mom. This might feel uncomfortable at first. Many of us grew up with the message that a good mama always puts herself last. But here's the truth, you cannot pour from an empty cup. And so, prioritizing yourself isn't selfish. It's essential for being the mommy you want to be. This includes learning how to manage your time effectively, creating space for meaningful self care, and this doesn't mean bubble baths, okay? It's like true self care. How are you literally taking time to yourself? And rediscovering your passions outside of motherhood. And so one of the mamis that I had with balanced motherhood was how she was having a hard time asking for help and I know that many of us Have a really hard time asking for help, but I think it's so important to communicate this with your partner if you are in a partnered relationship and Explain to them how you are feeling how you need help how you also matter and so I think this is just part of how we get to let people know that We also come first. The second pillar that I talk about in my program is finding balance with your identity as a Latina mom. And this is about bridging the gap between generations and cultures. It's really about honoring your heritage while also creating new traditions that align with your values. It's about dismantling Limiting cultural beliefs like Marianismo, familiarismo, Parentification, right? All of these expectations that we grew up with. Ultimately, it's up to us in building a parenting style that feels authentic to you. And I've already given this example about our situation with raising our kids without a religion And I think that for us, we feel so empowered in making our own decisions. And I hope I don't get pushed back here, but I think that it is important to, Think about what your true values are as it relates as a family, as individuals, and figuring out if this is something for you. And now I'm not saying to completely remove yourself from religion, right? No. But what I'm saying is that I think you have the ability to really reflect on yourself and really think, okay, do my values align with the Catholic church? If not, what are other ways that I can grow my faith into other denominations or other communities where perhaps are more accepting of my own values? And so I'm not saying that you should be an atheist. No, by no means, right? But again, it's more so how can you. Bridge this gap between those cultural expectations and the way that you want to present yourself in front of your kids and sometimes If not, oftentimes this breaks generational patterns and that is the goal, right? We want to break from that. We want to create this new version of parenting, especially within the Latina community, the way that we want to create it in a more positive, genuine way. And that way our kids don't get to repeat the cycle. And then finally, the third pillar that I discuss in my program is setting boundaries with your family. So, for many Latina moms, including myself, this is the hardest pillar. Our cultura often emphasizes family above all else, which can make it difficult to set healthy boundaries. But boundaries are not walls. They're guidelines that help us protect our energy and prioritize our well being while still maintaining loving relationships. And so a boundary that I've set for myself is, not over explaining my family about why we don't go to church. And Through time they've understood like okay, they're not going to church like it's fine. And this is a boundary that I have set with my family. Like, no, I'm not going to church with you. No, at this time, we're not going to baptize Mateo, right? And so they've understood it. They're respected it, but Obviously, there's still somewhat of a tension between that, and that is okay, okay? So these three pillars from the foundation of my program, Balanced Motherhood, it's a way of mothering that honors both our cultural heritage and our authentic selves. So maybe you're listening and wondering if this resonates with your experience. Well, here are some signs that you might be navigating this modern Latina mom identity crisis. So, number one, you feel guilty when you take time for yourself, even though you know you need it. Number two, you find yourself caught between your parents expectations and your own parenting instincts. Number three, you struggle to say no to family obligations, even when they drain your energy. Number four, you sometimes feel like you're not Latina enough or not keeping cultural traditions alive. Number five, you feel pressure to be the perfect mama, the perfect wife, the perfect daughter, and the perfect professional all at once. Number six, you struggle to find examples of motherhood that reflect your experience as a Latina. If you're nodding along to any of these, well You are exactly where you need to be. over the next seven episodes. We're going to dive deep into each of these pillars Each episode will give you actionable strategies you can implement right away. Along with reflection questions to help you get clear on what matters most to you. So before we wrap up today's episode, I want you to know that this identity crisis we're experiencing, it's not a flaw. It's actually your greatest opportunity. It's your chance to create a new model of Latina motherhood. And that is one that honors both your heritage and your authentic self. You can create a motherhood experience that embraces both. If this episode resonated with you, well. Join the waitlist for balanced motherhood. This is a three month coaching program specifically designed for millennial Latina moms who want to create a motherhood experience that honors both their heritage and their authentic selves. In this program, we're going to be diving into all of these three pillars through monthly group coaching, one on one support, guest expert sessions, and a supportive community of Latina moms who get it. You can learn more at VivaLaMami. com forward slash balanced motherhood that is balanced with a D at the end. All Remember, you don't have to navigate this journey on your own. And tune in next week when we'll be talking about time vampires and the modern mama. Those things that drain our energy without adding value and how to reclaim your time. All right, well, hasta luego y nos vemos on the next episode./