116. Balanced Madrehood: How to Prioritize Self-Care as Latina Moms

In this third episode of our special 8-episode Balanced Madrehood series, I tackle a topic that resonates with so many Latina moms: the misconception that taking care of ourselves is somehow selfish.

As Latina moms, we've often been conditioned to believe that self-sacrifice is the ultimate expression of love. Today, I challenge that notion and explore why true self-care isn't just nice to have, it's absolutely essential for those of us balancing multiple roles and responsibilities.

For detailed show notes, visit vivalamami.com/episode116

In This Episode, You'll Hear:

• Why traditional bubble baths and manicures aren't the only forms of self-care (and may not even be the most effective for busy moms)
• My personal journey of redefining what self-care means in my life beyond scheduled activities
• How the cultural concept of "marianismo" creates additional barriers to self-care for Latina moms
• Powerful mindset shifts to break free from the guilt cycle that keeps us from prioritizing our wellbeing
• Practical strategies for implementing self-care in your busy life, even if you only have five minutes

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Transcript

Jessica: 0:01

Today we're continuing our special series on creating a more balanced motherhood experience. In our last episode, last week, we talked about reclaiming our time, and today we're going to tackle something equally important, and that is somehow the idea that taking care of ourselves is selfish. Ro as Ma Ma, we're conditioned to believe that self-sacrifice is the ultimate expression of love Ro today I wanna challenge that and explore why true self-care isn't just nice to have. Because let's face it, we. Needed. It's absolutely essential, especially for those of us balancing multiple roles and responsibilities. So I hope you can find a quiet moment if you can't, and I am so excited to share with you why self-care is not selfish and how we can break free from the guilt that keeps us from prioritizing our wellbeing. But before we dive in, I want to remind you that in the show notes, there are two links. One, where you can suggest different topics, topics like these or any topic that you want me to talk about. And I also have another link. on proposing a guest, or if you know of a potential guest that could benefit in being on the show, feel free to share their information as well. I think that it's so important to share our stories and for people to share their expertise. And that way, Mama, your motherhood journey can be better informed. And that way you can create the best version of this wonderful And oftentimes chaotic journey of ours. And I also want to remind you to please rate and review the show it's so important for me to receive feedback and what you think of this show so that way people can find Viva La Mami and that way Latina moms Don't feel in isolation as it relates to their motherhood journey. So don't forget to rate and review. If you are listening through Apple podcasts, otherwise you can also rate this show on Spotify and know that I'm here to build this community for you, for us, because it is needed. All right, let's dive into the episode./ So as we think about self-care, we often think about taking a bubble bath getting our nails done. the physical actions that we take aside and do, and I think that is great. However, That sometimes takes a lot of time, especially as busy moms. And one of the things that I am sort of relearning my self-care journey, is that there are different forms of self-care. through my sessions with my therapist, she really has helped me explore what they look like. And they don't necessarily have to literally take time away from you Now, I am not saying that you shouldn't go out and get your nails done, like at the time of this recording. I got my nails done. However, one thing that I do wanna. Mention is that there are other ways in taking care of ourselves. So one example is that initially I thought that I literally had to schedule my day around utilizing self-care practices. And this was, for example, reading a book. I joined a book club so that I can go back to reading, because that was something that I really enjoyed before having kids and so I thought joining a book club, shout out to Rise and Thrive Latinas in Chicago, I thought that this would be an amazing opportunity for me to build uni with other Latinas, reading books from Latina authors and also be. Out of the house for a little bit to discuss what is read during that given month. Now, when I'm not meeting with the group, I am reading the book, preparing for these sessions. I initially thought that that was my way of self-care. I thought that, well, I'm taking time aside for me to read a book and that's my self-care. And even though this was a daily ritual that I had implemented, I remember having a session with my therapist and I'm like, I don't know why I feel like I'm not doing enough for myself. And so she is like, Hmm. Do you think that you're not prioritizing your self-care in the way that you wish you did? And I didn't realize that until literally I opened up with her and we were discussing that there are different forms of self-care. now I am in this learning process and this sort of relearning process of trying to figure out what is. True self-care for me. Now, self-care can be different for everyone. I believe that however you define self-care is going to be your own sort of definition and experience. But for me, I definitely don't wanna schedule my self-care session, if that makes sense. Now when I think about self-care and how I am sort of reimagining it, reinventing my self-care journey self-care is more so how can I set boundaries to myself? How can I take better care of myself in a way that perhaps I never paid attention to? So I'm still there to try to figure out what that looks like, to be honest. But I am here to tell you that it is okay for you to shift your thinking about self-care. It is okay to give yourself permission on how you wanna change your self-care journey and experience. And even though a lot of times people are defining self-care for us, it is not all going to be the same. So as I am going to talk about how we can prioritize our self care. Know that I am in this journey with you as well, but together, hopefully we can sort of define what self-care looks like based on, on our own experiences, based on our own journeys and based on what we want out of this self-care rediscovery, and I believe really that it goes much deeper and it's more fundamental. I wanna be clear that taking care of yourself isn't self-indulgent, it's self preservation. And in the intensive season of Madre Hood, self preservation isn't optional. But it is so essential. So this is one of the fundamental principles we will be working with in balanced Madre Hood. When moms join our program, many start with deep seated belief that they should handle everything without support. But by the end of this coaching program, you're going to understand that self-care is actually the foundation that makes everything else possible. For many of us as Latina moms, there are cultural factors that make self-care even more challenging. And like I said, I have yet to define self-care for myself. And I think it's because of what I saw modeled through my mama, through my abuela, even Buela, who I had the honor of knowing her in my 35 years of life. Many of us grew up seeing the jere in our families embody this concept of Maria Nimo, which I talk about in my coaching program, balanced motherhood and Maria Nimo is the expectation that. Women should be self-sacrificing and nurturing above everything else. And so when you add this concept with the realities of modern life, it's no wonder we're feeling so overwhelmed. But here's what I want you to remember. Honoring your cultural values doesn't mean sacrificing our wellbeing. By taking care of ourselves, we're actually better able to nurture the family connections that are so central to our cultural identity. And in balance motherhood. We work specifically on reconciling these cultural expectations with the realities of modern parenting. let's talk about the big barrier to self care for most mamas, and that is hashtag the mom, guilt, that nagging feeling that you should be doing something else. That voice that says, taking time for yourself means you're neglecting someone important, that worry that others will judge you for prioritizing your own needs. Let's just break away from it. Here are some powerful mindset shifts that have helped me imbalanced motherhood that have been able to break free from the guilt cycle. First, let's recognize that self-care is not zero sum. Taking care of yourself doesn't mean taking away from your family. When you nurture your wellbeing, you have more energy, patience, and presence to bring to your relationships. Second, challenge the Mama Martin narrative. And there's nothing noble about running yourself into the ground. I know that we saw this through the, in our families, but your worth is not determined by how much you sacrifice. And then finally, please practice self-compassion. Would you tell your best friend? She's selfish for taking care of her health or making time for things that bring her joy? I doubt it. And so these mindset shifts don't happen overnight. And in balanced motherhood, we work on them consistently over our three months together where we're not only going to meet as a group, but I will be meeting with you one-on-one, so that way you can have accountability on how we can help rewire these deeply ingrained beliefs that we grew up knowing and seeing. And so how do we actually implement self-care in our busy lives? Well, here are some strategies that I found effective both personally and with the mamas in our balanced motherhood community. First of all, start small and be consistent. Five minutes of intentional self-care daily is more beneficial than an occasional spa day. Can you wake up 10 minutes earlier to enjoy your. In peace. Identify your personal self-care, non-negotiables, it could be getting enough sleep, actively moving daily, or expressing yourself. Creatively. What matters most for you. If you wait until you find time for self-care, it likely won't happen. But also communicate this clearly with your partner. Let them know that your self-care time is important. This isn't about asking permission. It's about setting those expectations and then they will know. When is your time for self-care? You will then know when is your time for self-care, where you don't necessarily have to write this down on a planner, And so find small moments throughout your day where self-care doesn't always require a large block of time. Just like how I mentioned in the beginning of this episode, it can be as simple as taking three deep breaths before answering a stressful email or. or going to the other room all by yourself, while your kids are wanting your attention. It is okay to prioritize your wellbeing and I cannot stress this enough, and also build a supportive network. Connect with other mamas who understand the importance of self care. And this is one of the most valuable aspects of our balanced motherhood community, having other jere who get it. Finally it's so important to practice saying no. Every time you say yes to something that doesn't align with your priorities, you're saying no to something else, which is often your own wellbeing. So remember that self-care looks different for everyone. And what feels nourishing to one person might feel draining to another. But the key is to identify what truly replenishes you and how you wanna define self-care. I know that some of you are thinking that sounds nice. Well, let me address the most common objections I often hear. I don't have time for self-care. My family needs come first. I feel selfish focusing on myself, I tried self-care but didn't feel any different. I don't know what self-care looks like for me, and this is so common and like I said, I am in a different phase of my life about what self-care. Truly means to me, and many of us have been focused on others' needs for so long that we've lost touch with our own. So part of our work in balanced motherhood is rediscovering what truly nourishes you, what truly makes you happy, what. Will empower you to be the woman that you want to be. So as we wrap up today's episode, I want to leave you with this. Self-care is not selfish. It's not a luxury. It's not something to feel guilty about. It's an essential practice that enables you to show up fully in all areas of your life, including Madre Hood. And I keep saying this, your wellbeing matters not just for what you can give to others, but for its own sake. You are worthy of care and attention, including your own. If what we've discussed today resonates with you and you're ready to break free from the cycle of self neglect and. Guilt. I invite you to join our wait list for balanced motherhood. In this three month program, we dive much deeper into creating sustainable self-care practices that honor both your needs and your cultural values as well. The program includes monthly group coaching, one-on-one support, and a community of like-minded Latina moms who understand your unique challenges. To join the wait list, visit viva la.com/balanced madre hood. That is balanced with a D at the end dash Madre hood. And you'll be the first to know when doors open for enrollment. in next week's episode, we'll be talking about rediscovering your passions outside of ma hood, which is another crucial aspect of creating a balanced motherhood experience. All right, AMI. Well, thank you so much for listening on the next episode.