120. Balanced Madrehood: Aligning Your Core Values with Parenting

In this seventh episode of our special 8-episode Balanced Madrehood series, I discuss how aligning your parenting with your core values can transform your motherhood experience from reactive to intentional.

As busy mamás juggling careers, households, relationships, and more, it's easy to parent on autopilot - reacting to situations rather than responding based on what truly matters to us. But when we take the time to identify our core values and create a parenting approach that reflects them, we experience more confidence, less guilt, and a stronger sense of purpose.

For detailed show notes, visit vivalamami.com/episode120

In this episode, you'll learn:

• What values really are and why they matter so much in parenting
• A simple exercise to identify your authentic core values (not just what others expect of you)
• How to translate abstract values into concrete, everyday parenting actions
• A 5-minute daily reflection practice that can transform your parenting approach

I share specific examples of how values like respect, connection, and resilience can be put into practice through daily parenting decisions, and explain why parenting from your authentic values is transformative not just for your children, but for you too.

Feeling overwhelmed by navigating cultural expectations and modern parenting as a Latina mom? Join Balanced Madrehood, Viva la Mami's signature coaching program designed to empower Latina moms to create a more balanced and fulfilling madrehood journey.  Head over to vivalamami.com/balanced-madrehood to learn more!

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Transcript

1:20

Today we're continuing our special series on creating a more balanced motherhood experience. In our previous episodes, we've covered reclaiming our time, prioritizing self-care, reconnecting with our passions, setting boundaries with our familia, and breaking harmful cycles while honoring our heritage. Today we're focusing on something that impacts every parenting decision you make, and that is aligning your values with your parenting approach. As mamas who are juggling careers, households, relationships, and lots more, it's easy to parent on autopilot. Where we react to situations as they arise rather than responding intentionally based on our core values. But when we take the time to identify what truly matters to us and create a parenting approach that reflects those values, we experience more confidence. Less mami guilt and a stronger sense of purpose in our madrehood journey. So in today's episode, we are going to explore how to identify your core values, how to translate them into everyday parenting decisions and how to handle the inevitable conflicts that arise when different values compete for priority.

Jessica: 2:44

But before we dive in, I want to remind you that in the show notes, there are two links. One, where you can suggest different topics, topics like these or any topic that you want me to talk about. And I also have another link. on proposing a guest, or if you know of a potential guest that could benefit in being on the show, feel free to share their information as well. I think that it's so important to share our stories and for people to share their expertise. And that way, Mama, your motherhood journey can be better informed. And that way you can create the best version of this wonderful And oftentimes chaotic journey of ours. And I also want to remind you to please rate and review the show it's so important for me to receive feedback and what you think of this show so that way people can find Viva La Mami and that way Latina moms Don't feel in isolation as it relates to their motherhood journey. So don't forget to rate and review. If you are listening through Apple podcasts, otherwise you can also rate this show on Spotify and know that I'm here to build this community for you, for us, because it is needed. All right, let's dive into the episode./

5:13

So let's start by clarifying what I mean by values. Your values are the principles and beliefs that matter most to you. And so these are the ideals that guide your decisions and shape how you live. They're the qualities you hope to embody and pass on to your children. And common values include things like honesty, respect, independence, creativity, spirituality, education, family connection, kindness, courage and perseverance. But everyone's value system is super unique, reflecting their personal experiences, cultural background, and individual priorities, and not to mention. Where you're at in your current season of life. So why do values matter so much in parenting? Well, when your parenting approach aligns with your core values, several important things happen. First of all, you experience more confidence and less second guessing instead of wondering if you're making the right decision. In any given situation, you can ask yourself, does this choice align with my values? If it does, you can move forward with clarity. Second, you create consistency for your peques, when your actions constantly reflect your values, your kiddos are going to develop a clear understanding of what matters in your familia. This consistency provides security and helps them internalize the values you hope to pass on. And finally, the third one. You parent more intentionally and less reactively. And this was something that I am still learning, but I constantly have to remind myself about what my core values are and how they essentially align to that specific moment or what other people expect. So you make choices that support your longtime vision for your familia. And so in balance motherhood, we spend significant time helping mamas identify their core values and align their parenting approaches accordingly. It's one of the most transformative parts of the program. As many moms discover, they've been parenting based on inherited expectations rather than their own authentic values. So how do you identify your core values? Well, let me share a simple exercise that has been incredibly helpful for the moms in our balanced madrehood community. So start by reflecting on moments when you felt most fulfilled as a parent, let's say times when you thought, this is exactly what I want motherhood to feel like. What values were being honored in those moments? Was it connection, creativity? Was it joy or was it a learning experience? Conversely, think about parenting moments that left you feeling frustrated or regretful. Often these difficult moments occur when our actions conflict with our own core values. So for example, if you value open communication, but find yourself shutting down conversations when you're stressed, that misalignment can leave you feeling a little dissatisfied. Another approach is to consider what qualities you most hope to see in your peques as they grow. The characteristics you value in them often reflect your own core values, so try to narrow down. Four to six values that feel most essential to you. These will become your guiding principles for everyday parenting decisions. It's also worth noting that your values might differ from those of your parents or from what's emphasized in mainstream parenting advice, and that's. Perfectly. Okay. Your core values should reflect your authentic beliefs about what matters most and not someone else's expectations. And I know it is so hard to break from that, but this is my challenge to you. So in Balanced Madrehood we provide a comprehensive values assessment that helps mamas identify not just their parenting values, but also their personal values, relationship values, and career values. Because all of these are interconnected in this complex world that we're in as mamas. And so once you've identified your core values, the next step is translating them into everyday parenting actions. This is where many mamas get stuck, including myself. Trust me, they know what matters to them in theory, but. They're not so sure how to put those values into practice. So let me give you some concrete examples. If respect is a core value for you that might translate into giving your children choices whenever possible, explaining the reasons behind your rules and speaking to them in the same tone you'd use with other adults even during difficult moments. If connection is a primary value, you might prioritize regular one-on-one time with each of your peques. Create family rituals that bring you together or put your phone away during key family moments to ensure you're fully present. If resilience matters to you, you might allow your peques to experience natural consequences for their actions. Celebrate effort rather than just results and share stories about times when you've overcome your own challenges. So the key is to think specifically about how each value shows up in daily interactions. For each core value, ask yourself. What does this look like in our day-to-day family life? How would someone observing our family know what we value the most? And so in balanced motherhood, we help mamas create a values to actions plan that outlines specific ways to honor their core values across different parenting situations. if you take just one thing from today's episode, let it be this simple exercise. You can start today. And that is to reflect on your core values each evening. For the next week, take maybe five minutes to reflect on your day through the lens of your values, and ask yourself, what parenting moments today aligned with my core values? When did my actions conflict with what matters most to me? What's one thing I can do tomorrow to bring my parenting more in line with my values? This simple reflection practice increases your awareness of how values show up in your daily parenting and helps you make small, intentional shifts towards greater alignment. You might be surprised by how quickly this brief daily reflection transforms your approach to parenting decisions. Many mamas in balanced motherhood report that this exercise. Alone significantly increases their confidence and satisfaction in their motherhood journey. And so as we wrap up today's episode, I wanna remind you that aligning your parenting with your authentic values isn't just beneficial for your. peques, it's transformative for you too. When your actions as a mama reflect what truly matters to you, motherhood becomes less about meeting external expectations and more about creating a family life that feels deeply meaningful. If today's episode resonated with you and you'd like support in identifying your core values in creating a parenting approach that honors them, I invite you to join the wait list for balanced motherhood. This three month coaching program is specifically designed for the modern Latina mom who wants to create a motherhood experience that feels authentic and aligned with their values. In balanced motherhood, we're gonna work together to clarify your values, create practical strategies for honoring them and your parenting, and build a supportive community with like-minded mamas who understand your unique challenges. To join the wait list, visit viva la ma.com/balanced motherhood that is balanced with a D at the end. Dash Madre Hood, and you'll be the first to know when doors open for enrollment, which they'll open up real soon. In our final episode of this series, next week, we're gonna bring everything together and explore how all these elements, like time management, self-care, personal passions, boundaries, breaking cycles, and values-based parenting create a truly balanced motherhood experience. Until then, remember when your parenting aligns with your values, you parent with purpose rather than managing day to day. All right, AMI. Well, thank you so much for listening in the next episode.