Viva la Mami - Latina Motherhood, Modern Parenting, Latina Well-Being

135. How to Stop Perfectionism In Your Bilingual Parenting Journey with Beatriz Rivera-Cruz

• Jessica Cuevas • Season 5 • Episode 135

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I sat down with Beatriz Rivera-Cruz, a former Spanish teacher turned entrepreneur who quit her job to start her own Spanish immersion daycare when she couldn't find what her family needed. As a Puerto Rican mami married to a non-Spanish speaker, Beatriz shares the real struggles of preserving her language and culture, and why perfectionism almost derailed her entire journey.

For detailed show notes, visit vivalamami.com/episode135

What You'll Hear:

  • Why immigrant mothers carry an invisible burden that monolingual moms don't face
  • How perfectionism and judgment kept her from supporting other bilingual families
  • The moment her son's relationship with Spanish completely changed through community
  • Why "good enough" bilingual parenting is actually extraordinary
  • Practical ways to start your bilingual journey without moving mountains

Ways to Follow Beatriz:

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beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

You see them say, I'm committing to speak to my kids in Spanish every day after school for an hour. And then they get 15 minutes in and they're like, I've failed. And it's just, I just hate seeing everyone think that they're failing when it's like, no, you are not. 15 minutes is enough, right? Like today, it's 15 minutes. Tomorrow it might be an hour next month you might go to Mexico for, for a week, right? Some days you nail it and some days you don't. I'd like to compare it to going to the gym. I think the same should be true about the Spanish language. Like some of us are. Some of us are training for a triathlon. Okay, you're moving. You're moving to another country. You are like you are doing an Iron Man. Okay? And then there are some of us that are like, you know what, I'm okay if I just like find the right school and my kid is going to that Spanish immersion school 30 minutes away.

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

Mm-hmm.

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

every now and then, or May and maybe at home, my commitment is during, during dinner we speak in Espanol, or my commitment is that on Sundays we go to Aita. And you know what, you're not running a an Ironman. You're just going to the gym and you're getting on that StairMaster and you're working up a good sweat. And that should be enough for you too. You know? But I just, I'm tired of people thinking that whatever they're doing is not enough. The only thing that is not enough is nothing at all. There are just little things that you can do, and over time that amounts to so much more than doing nothing at all because you've frozen and you're in like this, uh, decision fatigue where you don't know if it's enough.

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

Alala. Welcome to the Viva la Mami Podcast. I am so excited to have Beatriz Cruz. I. Appreciate the world of bilingualism. And

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

know.

Jessica:

know, uh, we are raising for the most part Spanish dominant kids. And I'm always curious about what other parents do and how they navigate raising bilingual children. And so for today, we have Beatriz, and I'm very excited just because out of raising bilingual kids, she decided to create her own daycare. And so Beatriz, Beatriz, I would love for you to introduce yourself first, and then we can delve into the conversation. So

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

yes. Hello. My name is Beatriz, as you said. Gosh, I'll do like a little personal intro and then I guess I'll talk a little bit more about the the daycare component. But, so I'm a military brat. I grew up kind of. Living all over the world. And my parents were both born and raised in Puerto Rico. And so growing up, that was the one thing that was our constant, even though we were moving around our culture and our language was always the focus in, in the home. So me and my sister were very lucky in that way that we had resos and they were like, doesn't matter where in the world we're living in. And that was a gift. That was a gift that I didn't recognize until I was an adult. And so when I had my son in 2019, I just assumed that I was going to be able to do the same thing. And I was a middle school Spanish teacher once upon a time. And so my Spanish has always been solid. My spouse doesn't speak Spanish, and so therein came the problem where by the time my son was two, I was losing sleep. About it. I could not find any Spanish immersion daycares in Southern California where I'm living in North County, San Diego.

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

Really?

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

there are a lot closer to the border, but I'm a solid hour away from from the border of Mexico and the United States. So I, you know, I, I just assumed when I got pregnant that it would be easy. It wasn't. So by the time he was turning the corner to three, I was getting the same comments in Puerto Rico from my mom, from my aunts and my uncle saying, and I'm like, oh no, here we go. Like, this is, I, I can't be it. I can't be the one that that brings my kid home to Puerto Rico. And, and he's not speaking in Spanish. So I had to do something drastic and I was like. I'm just gonna quit my job and start an in-home daycare because if I can't find what I need I'm just gonna have to create it. And so that was in, I think 2022 is when I started the process. Chala Collective is kind of the umbrella it's exciting because the, the long-term goal was always, well, we can provide Spanish immersion Monday through Friday for working parents. But what about the ones that are stay at home moms? Or what about the ones that, you know, we're a little too far away from them during the week, but they want to be able to immerse their kids in daycare. So, Chad Luck Collective is like, this is the brand and this is the building. So we have our daycare, and then now we're also moving into evening and weekend events so that we can do like Spanish camps, Spanish labs, Sensory Sabados, like all kinds of events where it's like. Just bring your kid, you know, we wanna serve babies, toddlers, and then also like elementary aged kids and say like, just bring your kids. and We'll do all the fun things that you see people doing all the time in the community that are family friendly. The only differences that, I always like to tell people we don't teach Spanish. We teach in Spanish. And so

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

Yeah. I love it.

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

Because we get a lot of American families that it's wonderful they're, they love the idea of their kids speaking Spanish, but sometimes they're mistaken where they sit, they think, I'm just gonna drop my kid off. And they're gonna learn Spanish the same way that they would drop their kid off at piano lessons, or the same way that they would drop their kid off at karate. Be like, I'm just gonna drop you off. You do your thing. I'll come back and get you. That's not what we're doing. Like we're not doing flashcards, we're not doing vocabulary, we're not doing Spanish bingo. We are simply speaking to kids in Spanish and doing things that kids enjoy. And so that's why you either have to be very comfortable with your kid being. Fully immersed in a language they've never heard before, or we're really catering to people like us. It's like we're speaking Spanish in the home. They're hearing Spanish from Abuelita and from Titi and from Tio, or from, you know, whoever it is in their family. This isn't a new language to them. It isn't a shock to them. But we are reinforcing it in so that they realize this is relevant outside of your home and outside of your family. There are other families just like you. There are other bicultural families, other bilingual families.'Cause that's what I hear is the struggle for a lot of families is, and what was for my son at the beginning where he is like, ma, please speak in English. Because he just thought, this is just the language Mommy speaks and this is just the language abuela speaks. The second he saw that a whole nother crowd of people also spoke, that it became relevant to him and we never had that fight again. interesting that, of families think that raising

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

that raising a bilingual kid is like Abuelita's job to do it,

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

that is it,

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

is

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

know,

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

You know? Oh, just put some

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

you know.

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

you know, whenever they're in Abuelita's house, they'll be fine. No,

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

not

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

when you really think about it, raising a bilingual kid takes a community, a whole ass village.

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

whole ass village.

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

Yes. A whole ass village. It also is the environment,

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

like

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

Like. You know, when you look at your

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

library, you have

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

if you

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

collect.

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

of books at home, look at the books that you have. Are they in Spanish?

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

they,

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

Are they in English

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

are they a little bit of

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

bit of both, depending on your

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

Right, so.

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

So it is a lot of work that parents do in raising a bilingual child. If that is your intention, if that is your goal, it can be possible,

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

Just

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

shouldn't just be like a number of

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

right, like,

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

Like, like Aita,

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

you know,

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

you know,

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

it's

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

is a whole, like how

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

a collective

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

It is a whole community of individuals so that the. Child feels like, oh my gosh, this

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

Which matters. Right?

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

Right? This is important to my family.

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

is more than just

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

than just like this little

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

that I have

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

that I have with me abuela,

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

and

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

and I don't

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

I.

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

your thoughts are, but I think that, that is the premise of raising a bilingual child, in my opinion. I don't know what your thoughts

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

Yeah, I mean, you know, it's the difference. What I tell people is that for like, let's say American families speaking, the language is the end goal. They can put it on their little, uh, I don't know, in their college applications. You can brag about it at brunch that, you know, Connor is bilingual. Great. But for Latino families, it's the beginning. It isn't the end goal. The language is that gateway to relationships with families, to being able to visit your heritage countries and have them be able to fully participate with their cousins. And not only that, I mean, so my husband is gringo. Sometimes I'm listening to a song in Spanish, or sometimes there is like a documentary that I'm watching that is from Latin America, if I'm honest with you, because I'm like. Your world is half as big as mine. Maybe mine's even bigger'cause there's 26 Spanish speaking countries. Right. But I'm like, there's so much I love my husband and he's so supportive, but I'm like, you don't, you don't have the breadth of, of like cultural understanding and you also don't have access to all of these things that I have access to. Right. Like sometimes I'm jamming to a bad bunny song and it just makes me chuckle and I'm like, you don't get that. You don't get that. You're never gonna get that. You have no idea what he's saying, and so I feel bad for him. And so I agree with you that it's like this is about a, this is about a community, and this is more than just a skill that a child has. Yes, it's a wonderful skillset, but it's a doorway into so much more that they get to enjoy and explore as adults. And the other thing too is that language is not something that's in isolation. Language is communication. Language is a community event. Okay? It's not a, it's not an individual sport, it's a team sport. So the, the goal should never be like they speak it, and that's it. Check the box. It's they speak it. And now what do we get to do? Because they have access to this language. You know,

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

yes, yes.

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

that association, it's that identity. Yes.

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

You know, of,

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

a Spanish speaker,

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

speaker, and within that it's like your ura it's like the

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

traditions, you know. Yeah.

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

everything else that is within that, uh, hierarchy, I guess, of like being bilingual and, or, you know, Spanish speaking in this case. And,

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

I love that. I

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

that. I love it that it, it all is like connected to not just the language, but also other aspects of like

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

love her,

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

are as individuals.

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

sure you probably have experienced this, I hear this often, but don't you feel like a different person when you're speaking in Spanish? You know, like your sense of humor is different. Your, even for me, the tone of my voice is different in the different languages and like there, it, it's just, it's just different. I recognize it's like I'm, I'm multifaceted there and now as an adult or even as a teenager, it was all very compartmentalized. I think that's why it felt very much like. I'm two different people now, as an adult, I'm trying to say like I'm not two different people. I'm the same people, but I have different dimensions and I'm trying to intertwine them as much as possible and interconnect them more than they were before and share more of my culture, especially when I'm in, in mixed. In a mixed space. But yeah, like, and I want that for my kids. I want them to be like, oh, here, okay, I'm American here, but when I'm, when I'm in Puerto Rico, like this is, this is also who I get to be. I get to be more than one person, if that makes sense.

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

Yes.

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

to raising

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

raising bilingual children,

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

surprised you the

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

you the

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

about

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

raising bilingual kids over the past, I dunno, five, six years since your first was born?

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

Yeah, the, that's a great question. I think nothing really surprised me about the kids. I think I already knew having taught middle school Spanish,

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

Yeah.

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

just. I don't know, living that. I'm like, kids are awesome. Kids are curious. Kids are so adaptable. So none of that was what surprised me. The biggest surprise for me came for how my opinions have been shifting I was so rigid. When my son was born, at first, I told my husband like, I don't want you to speak any Spanish because if you're not speaking it correctly. I don't want him to be exposed to like broken Spanish. My opinion has changed on that. When my husband started to practice his Spanish, his number one, his Spanish has improved, and number two, it is now a family thing. You know, like my son is used to my, to my husband's speaking in Spanish and sometimes he corrects them, but he corrects him gently and with love and I think it's just a really beautiful, full thing to, for my son to see my husband trying and for my son to see my husband. Honoring our culture. the other thing that has surprised me too is my perspectives on the correct way to raise bilingual kids. You know, this is probably internalized white, white supremacy in this sense. But like I've grown up a perfectionist and I had to let that go. And I also had to stop judging other Latinas or Latinos who were trying to raise bilingual kids with whether or not they did enough Spanish immersion or whether or not, or not they were bilingual enough or fluent enough. I realize now that that was unfair. Because everybody is coming to, everyone is coming home to their culture. In our generation, at least that's what I'm noticing, right? Like we all had these experiences. I think, at least for me, let me speak only for myself of growing up in the United States, getting here when I was 11 years old. My goal was the goal of most young people, which is like, I just wanna fit in. I just wanna do what the Americans are doing. I just wanna listen to whatever music you're listening to and dress the way that you're dressing. And then as you age, and particularly once you have kids, you have this like coming back home to yourself.

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

Mm-hmm.

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

so as I've started to raise bilingual kids, as I've started to connect with other Latinas, I have gotten a lot more compassionate and a lot more, just empathy for the ones who maybe not are as fluent as me, or the ones who maybe grew up in a household whose parents weren't for whatever reason. And there are all kinds of reasons why they may or may not have. And so I guess surprised by like how much more supportive I have been and saying. You know what come as you are, come at whatever level of fluency that you're at, because we're all in this together and we all have the same goal, which is preserving our identities and raising a generation of kids who are proud of who they are and proud of their Spanish, even if it isn't perfect, you know? it.

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

love

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

love it,

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

love

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

and I think it

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

I

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

ultimately gives you this sense of

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

of,

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

giving yourself grace. Yes.

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

right? Because

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

Lot of work

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

lot of work. It is so much work, and sometimes you may feel isolated depending on

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

where you live

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

you live, where you are raising your kids, and. I know that we all have the intentions and the goals for our children to have

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

at a layer of

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

of this sense of,

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

right?

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

Right. Whether, if it's culturally linguistically, I,

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

think we,

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

think we have that leverage in implementing this added, you know, notion of like raising bilingual kids. But it is a lot of work

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

whether we're successful

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

or not, whatever success looks like. Uh, because I believe that even though we have the intentions of raising bilingual kids, they may or may not wanna continue on with the language. And it's okay. We did our best, we did all what we could. There isn't like a right or wrong way. It's just the same thing as parenting,

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

Yes.

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

in general

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

And,

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

and.

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

and I think that it

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

that it is okay if you know your plan isn't it is okay if your kids are pushing back and they're like, no, I'm not

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

Spanish.

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

anymore. But I think the, the premise of this, conversation is

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

we,

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

can we support our

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

how can,

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

can we also like, give ourselves that grace,

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

whatever, happens. I think

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

I

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

that

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

that we can at least

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

celebrate.

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

the little things. oftentimes we forget about that. We forget to celebrate the little milestones

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

I think is important because it is a lot of work, right? I, you know how a lot of times now that people are talking about the emotional labor, labor of mothers, that a dad is just hanging out, enjoying his day, and we're going through all of the different things that we need to be doing. I think that when you're an immigrant mother, whether you're Latina or whether you belong to another immigrant community. What is so deeply unfair about this is that other moms, American moms are not doing that, that work. They are not losing sleep over whether or not their kid is speaking their heritage language. They are not doing tons of research, right? When it comes time for, I don't know, I'm not American, but my assumption is that when it comes time for an American woman to say, I gotta put my kid in daycare because I wanna work, I wanna work on my career. So what am I looking for? I'm looking for something close. I'm looking for something within my budget and I'm looking for, I don't know, let's say a learning model, whether it's Montessori or Reggie or whatever it is, when they put that search into Google, they have so many options at their disposal for us.

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

Mm-hmm.

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

number one priority is raising bilingual kids. We have to move mountains. We put our search in Google and we have one to two options, maybe three. Then we have to ask ourselves, is it 50 50? Is it just Spanish exposure? Are they just teaching'em an account one to 10, or is it immersion? And then we have to go, how far is it away? For me? The whole reason that I like, I exploded my life. I quit my full-time job. Because the only one I could find was 20 minutes away, and it was$2,100 a month from 9:00 AM to 3:00 PM so it wasn't even a full day. Right? And so already they're like, I'm stressed. That was years ago. And I'm still stressed because I'm like, well, another working mother is just like, oh, this daycare's perfect. I'm gonna put'em in five minutes away from home. I'm asking myself, okay, they open at nine, but I start work at eight. Is it possible that I can move meetings around? Is it possible that I can. Start working at five. Clean up my inbox. Like do certain things, take a break. Take my son to school because it's the only Spanish immersion in town. Is it, is it then like then if I have to pick'em up by two? It was actually a nine to two program. I'm full. I'm a full-time worker. Okay. So then you are doing all this mental gymnastics on top of saying like, so it's, it's consuming time, it's consuming energy, and it's consuming our budget because we don't, we don't get that many options. So it's like you pay for it or you don't pay for it. You make it work or you don't make it work. And so I just, I have so much. Compassion for Latinas because it's like we have more work than the average mother, particularly if we have a job. And so then our options are like we make these huge commitments to be able to take'em to that school, or we do these gigantic life changes, like I quit my job. That was a very cozy job when it came to income and had to totally change. Careers to early childhood education because I couldn't find what I wanted. So, so I made it happen. Or for you that you're just like, this just isn't enough. This isn't, so I'm going to pack up my life and move to another country. And while it's wonderful and there are people like me and you who are just like, let's do it all in, we can't expect that's not accessible to everybody. We can't expect every Latina in the United States to take those kinds of risks. And so the question I ask myself is. How do we make it easier? How do we make it more effortless? How wouldn't it be amazing if we lived in a world where a Latina said, I wanna raise my kid, bilingual. And she threw that into Google and she had five schools nearby that she had to choose from, and that's just not the world that we live in. Which brings me all the way back to what you're saying. It's like. We have to then create this village. We have to create this community. We can't all be martyring ourselves and feeling like the burden and the responsibility is solely on our shoulders because the world is not set up to support us.

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

I think the

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

ultimate to not feel

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

not

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

isolated.

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

isolated, to not feel like you're doing this alone and.

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

Yeah.

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

Uh, yeah, I

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

I totally agree with you.

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

with you.

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

And you did talk about how

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

how, you know, releasing perfectionism around bilingualism and stopping

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

parents

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

other

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

like yes.

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

helped you, I guess, change your perspective. Can

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

You know, tell us a little bit more about that. Like

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

tell us a little bit more

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

what really

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

really changed for you?

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

conversations with other moms, conversations with other moms and just.

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

Yeah.

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

I grew up in a house where my, I mean, my mom would judge everyone and be like, like, it was always shame, shame, shame, shame, shame. Right? And so I did, I grew up, I internalized that. I'm like riaa, like, uh, shunning her culture, RIAA, like her name, you know, her name is Guadalupe, and her son is like, Spencer, what is she doing? You know, like, I'm like, and but it's not okay, right? Like it's not okay. It's funny and it's not okay at the same time because. When I actually, it's, it's the same thing as like trolls on the internet. It's very easy to judge from afar when you're looking somebody in the eye and they're saying, I'm embarrassed about my Spanish, or like, I'm embarrassed that I look this Latina. And I don't speak a word of it. I'm struggling because I'm working full time and I could speak in Spanish now. English is my stronger language. And so I told myself. Or you see them fail, right? You see them say, I'm committing to speak to my kids in Spanish every day after school for an hour. And then they get 15 minutes in and they're like, I've failed. And it's just, I just hate seeing everyone think that they're failing when it's like, no, you are not. 15 minutes is enough, right? Like today, it's 15 minutes. Tomorrow it might be an hour next month you might go to Mexico for, for a week, right? Like. It's, it's a, it's a cycle and it's a flow. And some days you nail it and some days you don't. And so it's not, and I see this with everything. I see this, I'd like to compare it to going to the gym. I think the same should be true about the Spanish language. Like some of us are. Some of us are training for a triathlon. Okay, you're moving. You're moving to another country. You are like you are doing an Iron Man. Okay? And then there are some of us that are like, you know what, I'm okay if I just like find the right school and my kid is going to that Spanish immersion school 30 minutes away.

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

Mm-hmm.

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

every now and then, or May and maybe at home, my commitment is during, during dinner we speak in Espanol, or my commitment is that on Sundays we go to Aita. And you know what, you're not running a an Ironman. You're just going to the gym and you're getting on that StairMaster and you're working up a good sweat. And that should be enough for you too. You know? But I just, I'm tired of people thinking that whatever they're doing is not enough. The only thing that is not enough is nothing at all. Mm, Right? But I mean, anything else is like, if you insist that when they want you to read a book for my son when he's like, will you read a book to me before? But I'm like, so

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

Mm-hmm.

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

and so, there are just little things that you can do, and over time that amounts to so much more than doing nothing at all because you've frozen and you're in like this, uh, decision fatigue where you don't know if it's enough. that you mentioned this because yes, we put

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

yes, we

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

pressure on ourselves and I think it's

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

it's

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

maybe we wanna,

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

wanna, I. our culture, reclaim our language, or maybe because we were raised in a household where we had to fully assimilate that now we wanna get into

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

of,

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

sort of phase.

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

know, like we wanna be.

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

like, we wanna be intentional and raising bilingual children or because we are gonna feel judged,

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

Exactly. And so it's just like this kind

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

like this kinda.

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

one way or the other type of experience.

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

of experience that we feel like, oh my gosh, I, I still feel,

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

Yes,

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

and that's what makes it so

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

yes,

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

it's having the sense of belonging as Latinas and now as moms. And I feel like there is this added pressure that we get once we become parents. It's like, oh my gosh. Well what is our plan? And I find this interesting and I don't know if this is common and especially'cause you work with families now facility. A lot of people when they start planning to have children or when they find out that they're pregnant, I wonder, and I wonder if there should be a study just because I come from academia, right? Like, do

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

Or families talk

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

families talk about their bilingual

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

Yeah. You know,

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

You know,

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

is this an added convers

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

conversation that Latina FA

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

families have

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

have that perhaps monolingual families don't have?

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

Yes.

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

I just wonder,

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

Bueno, Jessica, go ahead. Apply for that PhD program. Do the dissertation. Uh, I'm not gonna, but, uh. Yeah, you know, I think that, I think that's a great question, and my assumption is that I try not to be binary, right? Of like, you're either doing bilingual or you're not. Or you either have a language plan or you don't, however. I, I imagine that it's like the death conversation. You know how they talk about like, not enough people talk about dying, not enough. People talk about like, this is what I want you to do But it's a conversation that should be had.

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

And I think

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

It's there. There's never like a

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

never

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

time. I think you just have to

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

have

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

start if you wanna

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

if

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

Exactly. And then move forward.

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

then move

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

Yeah. And you know, and then this

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

in this essence of like.

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

environment,

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

and community and having a village, right? Like I think you are creating this for many families in your area, which I think it's amazing

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

and I'm honestly just like.

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

just like surprised that you are, are you like considered the only bilingual daycare in your

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

I'm the only infant center. Yes, I am the only Spanish immersion center in North County San Diego that takes children under the age of 18 months. So the one I sent my kid to is 20 minutes down the road. They only take 18 months and above. So, which is wild to me because even though they're not speaking from zero to 18 months, zero to three years is the crucial window. Like it is the best time. So yeah, I'm the only one, at least in my city for sure, and in like the Tri-City area. So I'm in Vista, California, and then we've got Oceanside, San Marcos and Carlsbad. So there's like four that are all bundled. And from what I can see, I'm the only one who takes babies and does 100 present Spanish throughout the day. Yeah.

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

Wow,

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

It's

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

And, and the, it's, it's

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

California. Yeah. Like especially still in California. Like it's good for business, but I don't take pride in that. I'm like this, I should not be the exception. This is insane. There should be other people doing this. What are we doing here? You all right?

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

Right.

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

And I think it just,

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

I think it just,

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

telling, it's.

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

it's telling right, that maybe for our, the systems that are built, you know, bilingualism isn't a priority

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

in fact, like everywhere else

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

else outside of the United States, like being a multilingual person,

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

matters, it's an expectation. It's,

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

It is, it

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

yeah, and

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

And wow. And so let's talk about Chala Collective, which I love. So can you tell our listeners a little bit more about it? You, we kind of, you added a little bit of an introduction, but just so that our listeners have a better idea, can you tell us what it is?

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

If I had to sum up Chala Collective, it would be that we are a community of Padre Latinos who are committed to preserving our Spanish language and our heritage cultures, both at home and enc. Like that would be it in a nutshell. And for those who are local, it means that. They can participate in all the great events that I have to offer. Right. And if they're not, I think it could be a, you know, you can admire from afar, you can see what we're doing. And quite frankly, you can replicate it in your town. You know, like my grandmother has this, well she had, she passed away, but we still visit our house and my mom owns that house actually. And so when we go, there's this little key chain that I love to see that says. And that's what I tell Latinos as well is like, yeah, we can, we can spend all day admiring the problem and pointing out what's missing. If you notice that something is missing, bring it. Like bring it to your community. Find ways to create it where you're at.

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

Yeah. And

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

how like

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

like

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

relationship

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

relationship with Spanish change, you know, your,

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

changed everything

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

everything for your

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

and

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

And so,

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

so what does that tell you about the

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

you about the power of community in language

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

power? I think what it, what it shares for me is that like I. Modeling is everything. Exposure is everything. And as much as possible, make sure that your children see. See what you want to be true outside of the home. You know, we, our kids love us, but it probably isn't just for language learning. It's anything we ask them to do, they're going to, right. Like it's like, please drink more water. Please eat more vegetables. But like you go to a birthday party and there's a kid eating broccoli and all of a sudden you see your kid pick up broccoli, be like, what is it? Tomorrow I'm gonna eat broccoli. So I think that that is the advice that I would give of like, this is a social. Event. This is a community based event. This does require youth going out and seeking people who are living the lifestyle that you wanna live in terms of bilingualism and multiculturalism and like lean on that and take advantage of that because in that sense it is a little monkey c monkey. Do you know, like you kids want to fit in? So put them in places where, where they want to fit in is by embracing their culture and by embracing their latinidad and that identity. would you

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

what would you say, to a mom that's listening

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

what

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

like what

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

practical

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

practical tips would you offer to her?

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

feels.

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

she feels like she is struggling with either exposing and immersing their kids into the language

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

Know

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

know where to start, just like how

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

bring

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

her break out of that perfectionism?

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

would say apply for a PhD program and do this study that we talked about. No, I'm kidding. I, gosh. I mean, I would say listen to this podcast. Listen to the guests, fig, find them on Instagram. Buy that like in-home homeschool curriculum. Uh, I just. You've just gotta make a plan the same way that if you were to run a half marathon, can you tell I'm a long distance runner and I like the gym. All my analogies are about that. But you know, like, you're not gonna, you're not gonna say, I'm running a marathon and do it tomorrow. You gotta get your training plan. You are gonna go read your book, you're gonna like change your diet. You're gonna start by walking 30 minutes and like treat it the same way, like set an end goal. That's realistic. Break it out into chunks. Just do it. You know, like,

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

Yeah. Yeah.

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

is that too vague? I mean, I also think that everyone is so different and so like, what's gonna be possible for you? It may not be possible for another person, right? Like, I can't just tell people, get a passport, get on a plane, and spend a thousand dollars once a year, or$5,000. I can't tell people to do that. Like, you gotta, you gotta do what works for you. What's within your control and what's within your budget, to be honest. But I think there's plenty of free things that can be done if you're scrappy, but you know, it requires energy. It requires energy, and it requires time. That, unfortunately is our burden living in the United States of America.

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

Yeah. Oh my gosh.

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

FaceTime,

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

in today's times.

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

especially in today's times. Yeah, but this is telling, there is a code

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

is a

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

of

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

of

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

mamas and parents in general.

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

in general, right, about, their intention of raising bilingual children. And I think it starts out by like. Just like reflecting and understanding, like, okay, what is your goal? What have you and your partner if you are in a partner in a relationship agreed with. And it,

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

late.

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

never too late too, like

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

It's never too late.

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

that I often interview

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

too late to

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

too late to raise a

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

No,

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

child

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

I actually just met a couple that came to tour my daycare a couple days ago. Mom is Mexicana Papa. And he grew up with an American stepfather and just never learned the language. He, he moved to Ecuador when he was 17. He also like knew, he is like, I'm all in. Let's do it. Like I'm gonna, and just, he took like a little three years sabbatical and he learned, he said, I learned at 17, and his Spanish is beautiful. And so it is. It's never too late. It is just simply about like, how bad do you want it and what is your timeline? That that's it. Like there are some of you that it's like, I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna go all in. I'm gonna move to Latin America for three years. And that's a great way of doing it. Short in a short timeframe. You want it quick, do it that way. Right? And then there are also people that's like, or you can like build on it. Start it. Start your kid at 15, make sure that he does a study abroad program or a foreign exchange student program in high school. Make sure that he does study abroad when he's in. In college, if that's what he wants, because I also don't wanna just push college. That's also another conversation.

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

Mm-hmm.

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

but just make a plan. Make a plan.

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

Yeah.

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

on your timeline. There are things that can be done really quick, and there are things that can be done that is gonna amount to the same results. Just make the plan and, and stick with it. And then, and also forgive yourself when you don't, and then start the plan over. Or tweak the plan or recognize that was too ambitious. Let me not, and just, just keep going. Whatever you do, just keep going. and thank you for sharing that. I think this can,

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

think this

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

this will inspire our listeners who just

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

listeners to just

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

too much pressure on themselves

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

on themselves. You know, to give themselves

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

and

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

you know, to always

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

things.

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

modify things if needed, and that is okay to give themselves that permission to do

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

Yeah.

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

you for sharing that.

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

Like, don't even start with your kids. How about don't worry about your kids. Worry about yourself. What are you doing to enrich your identity every day? Like for me, when I'm brushing my teeth and tweezing my eyebrows, it's bad bunny and it makes me feel alive, girl. It makes me feel alive. And so, you know, I think sometimes modeling is the best. My son sees how much I love my culture. My son sees me speak in Spanish. My son sees me reaching out and trying to find other Latinas in the community that I can be friends with. My son sees me opening up the windows on Saturday morning and putting Latin music on and sweeping and mopping and, you know, and so I know that I'm not, when I do those things, I'm not intentionally doing anything with him. I'm not asking him to like, what do you want? You want water? No, you don't want, you want. No, I don't have to. I don't have to make it a battle. I can tell him like, look how I'm living fully into my identity. Look at what a proud Latina I am, listen to how good this music is, like taste how good these alas are. And I know that like he's going to love himself because he sees that I love myself.

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

Uh, I love it. You talked a lot about this, but I did not prepare you for

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

You. Oh, no. Are you gonna make me cry? Because I look real hard on the outside, but I'm a softie.

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

Well, who knows? We'll see. I've definitely made a

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

No.

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

But

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

How are you?

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

are you redefining Madre Hood?

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

I love this question because I don't like mother culture that I see on the worldwide web. Not that I don't like it, it doesn't fit for me. It's not a good fit.

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

Hmm.

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

And I just, I just hosted a baby shower yesterday, so I feel like I, I've, I, we had a prompt like this yesterday as well, but if I were to redefine Madre hood, I would say that I model, I model what I wanna see in my children. Specifically as it relates to identity? It is, I almost, uh, this is like, is this a bad analogy? I almost feel like I'm a build a bear where like I take what I want from all of the cultures. I, I want them to, I want to model for them that you can be multiple things at once. That you can integrate so much of your identity that there doesn't have to be any shame in being Latina. And there also doesn't have to be any shame in being a little gr is what I call myself. I'm a little gr okay. There are some things that I like, I, I do, that I picked up from American culture that I, quite frankly I like and I'm keeping. And so, I think it is, if I had to like sum it up, it'd be like, I do me. I do. Me

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

Mm.

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

and I, I, I opt in to the things that I want to opt into and I opt out of what isn't serving me. And I remain open and fluid and open to changing my mind. All in service of raising kids that are bicultural and and are curious about the world and are also open to growing as people. And, and evolving in their identity as they get more experiences and more information.

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

Hmm. Thank you so much, Riz,

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

for

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

for

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

being on the show. I love this conversation.

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

conversation.

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

I really appreciate sharing

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

you sharing. like your story, your expertise, and the

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

as well.

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

collective as well. I wish you nothing but

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

Thank you.

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

in this business model because it is so

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

So I know this matters to a lot of people. I'm stumbling, but I'm learning where can people follow you?

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

people follow you?

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

Yeah.

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

with you

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

I would say you can follow me on Instagram. That's probably where I'm the most active. I'm so reluctant to get on TikTok and all those other things, but I'm sure at some point I'm gonna have to. But it's, everything is at Chala Collective Facebook and Instagram. Or you can just email me at beatriz@chalacollective.com. And I'll, I'll answer. I'm a real person and I love talking about this. I could talk about this all day long, so just reach out.

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

Oh yes.

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

Well, thank you so much for being here. I really appreciate it. And I, like I said,

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

like I said, I wish you nothing but

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

and

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

and luck. You know, I think that this is a great opportunity for, you know, people to support you and follow

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

your journey, not just like.

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

not just like as a business owner, but also in your. Uh, parenting right? And your experience in parenting and raising bilingual children.

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

you so much for being here.

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

much for being here.

beatriz_1_06-08-2025_071851:

has filled my cup up. and Thanks for spending time with me. This, this, this really made my day. Thank.

jessica_1_06-08-2025_091857:

great. Thank you.